Women's Eyes Only

-          The sin of PMS -

There is a reason I have designated this article for women’s eyes only, and it’s not just because the topic is sometimes difficult for male ears (although it usually is, for men in my family especially). It’s because women tend to become proud when the topic challenges only them. Women have grown up with a sense of fairness—birthed in us by the women’s liberation movement. On one hand it is good, because it means that we recognize when we are being mistreated or undervalued, but we have also become proud. There is an attitude, prevalent in women today, that says, “If I’m going down, I’m taking him down with me too.” I wouldn’t go so far as to say that we still blame men for the oppression of women in the past, or the current sexualisation of women, but, like someone who has been damaged, there is a defensiveness that rises up in a woman, as if she expects to be mistreated but this time she’s going to stand up for herself. I don’t want to placate women here and somehow encourage our pride—somewhere along the line we are going to have to admit our failings before the men, and trust that they will not ridicule us for it—but there is strength in realizing that others go through what you have been through.

So here is my position: we blame a lot of our negative behavior on hormones as a way to cover up sin. This is not an original thought of mine; I would not have been able to come up with it because I am a woman and the defensiveness is strong within me. It came from a man who was bold enough to point it out. When I first heard it, I was skeptical—until it was followed by this premise: “Would you yell at someone at church the way you yell at your family members when you have PMS?”

The answer was a resounding “NO!”

Then came the big shock: “So it can be controlled…?”

If you’re like me, and you have not heard this before, you are probably experiencing the same humbling silence that I did. Where once I was able to feel secure in the fact that, “I couldn’t control myself. My hormones made me do it…” Now all of a sudden I was faced with the sin in my life and couldn’t get back that blissful ignorance.

I’ll never forget the sketch at the beginning of an episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry Seinfeld says, “I don’t understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it on her upper thighs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.” What a challenging truth! I wonder how often we shrink away or act the victim who needs sympathy, when we actually have the strength already to deal with that situation?

Before I go into some specifics about how to address this sin in our lives, I want to be clear here that I am not denying that there is such a thing as PMS. I am a first-hand victim of this terrible condition. For those that don’t understand the menstrual cycle, here is an excerpt from a Wikipedia article (of the same name):

“Stimulated by gradually increasing amounts of estrogen in the follicular phase, discharges of blood (menses) slow then stop, and the lining of the uterus thickens. Follicles in the ovary begin developing under the influence of a complex interplay of hormones, and after several days one or occasionally two become dominant (non-dominant follicles atrophy and die). Approximately mid-cycle, 24–36 hours after the Luteinizing Hormone (LH) surges, the dominant follicle releases an ovum, or egg in an event called ovulation. After ovulation, the egg only lives for 24 hours or less without fertilization while the remains of the dominant follicle in the ovary become a corpus luteum; this body has a primary function of producing large amounts of progesterone. Under the influence of progesterone, the endometrium (uterine lining) changes to prepare for potential implantation of an embryo to establish a pregnancy. If implantation does not occur within approximately two weeks, the corpus luteum will involute, causing sharp drops in levels of both progesterone and estrogen. These hormone drops cause the uterus to shed its lining and egg in a process termed menstruation.”

In other words, the hormones like estrogen and progesterone, at certain times, are pumping through our bodies in order to fuel the important menstrual cycle that is required for reproduction. It’s definitely a complicated process, and in every stage there is a new “surprise;” women can go through a myriad of emotions and symptoms. The week before I even experience menstruation, I start to become very unaffectionate towards the people I live with, especially my mother (if I were a psychologist I might wonder if it was somehow related to the fact that I blame her because she gave me life…). Then I become both angry and oversensitive, which results in words coming out of my mouth that I normally wouldn’t say. I develop sensitivity in certain (common) body parts and feel as though my whole body is turning against me. The night before menstruation, I am writhing in agony because I have this slow, creeping, dull-ache in my legs which is worse than sore muscles because no matter what way you position your legs the pain is still there. Then I feel nauseous, emotional and…gross. It’s unpleasant to feel “the release of the uterus lining and egg.” Nobody likes to talk about it—although everyone is secretly curious about it. When I wake up, the worse part arrives and I experience the stomach cramps. Sometimes they are so sharp that I feel like I’m experiencing a labour contraction. Other times they just make me feel nauseous. I take tablets to help with the pain, but I can’t take normal pain relief drugs because these don’t seem to work on me. I take a tablet that is specifically designed for period pain. However, I cannot take it unless I have eaten and usually I’m in so much pain that I don’t want to eat. Regardless, I have to force myself to have something to eat, even if it’s just downing a glass of milk and shoveling down a few biscuits. After taking the tablets, it usually takes about 20 minutes before the pain goes away and, only then, do I feel normal enough to face the day.
You can see why it would be easy to blame your attitude on your condition. It’s a difficult experience to go through, but, at the same time, it comes every month (although there are people like me who are very irregular). People, and even animals, learn to adapt, so we should too. Women, however, in this matter, don’t seem to have a desire to adapt. They complain, use their pain to get out of things, or withdraw from the world.
The first step, as they say, is admitting you have a “problem.” It is the work of the Holy Spirit to be convicted about something and want to change, because the sinful nature wants to hide and continue to justify sin. John 3:20 tells us “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” The big question is not whether or not it is sinful to be angry when you are feeling poorly; the question is how do you go about controlling it?
The bible is full of truth, but sometimes there are not obvious answers to our questions. I did a quick google search for verses on menstruation (because you can do that in this day and age) and there were only about 15 times it is mentioned in the bible. Most of those mentions are in Leviticus or Ezekiel where it is talking about the law. There is no “advice” for women; there are no “helpful tips” on how to get through the pain. The trick is not to give up just because the answer isn’t immediate. If you search the bible, and remain open to the counsel of the Holy Spirit, you can find the answers that you are looking for. The bible tells us, “If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” God will honour a prayer like that.
First, I think it might be interesting to look at the verses that do specifically mention menstruation, and go from there. In Leviticus 15 it uses medical terms to describe the menstrual cycle. It says, “When a woman has discharge, and the discharge in her body is blood, she shall be in her menstrual impurity for seven days…” (It’s interesting that it refers to it as an impurity, but more on that in a minute.) So, it describes what happens to a woman: she discharges blood and it lasts about seven days. This is pretty accurate, although the length of the period varies slightly for different women. I have spoken to women who bleed for three days and then it stops and women who bleed for the entire seven days and then it stops. Either way, the cycle occurs for about seven days. Leviticus 15 also refers to menstruation as an impurity and says that anyone who touches or has sex with a woman during her menses is unclean.
Having read some commentaries on this (including Matthew Henry, Wesley and John Gill) there seems to be two perspectives of what this meant: The first is the literal interpretation: you would be dirty if you touched a woman who is bleeding and you won’t be clean again until you have a bath (which I’m assuming didn’t happen very often with people from that time). The book ‘The Red Tent,’ by Anita Diamant portrays how women would be removed from the others, to sit on straw in a separate tent, until the bleeding stopped. We are lucky (or unlucky, depends on how you view it) enough now that we know about germs, cleanliness and hygiene. We have regular baths, sanitary products such as tampons, pads, and freshener towels, and we are able to carry on with our regular lives without making anyone else unclean in that way. The bible also has a deeper meaning for this cleanliness law though. It was given so that the people would be reminded that they need to be holy before a Holy God.
When sin makes us unclean, we are separate from God. It is only through purification that we can even be in His vicinity. What this meant for the people of that time is that they would have to work harder to obey God’s laws and to make sacrifices and to keep away from anyone or anything that would cause them to be tempted. Now we have another way—the only way. Jesus. Jesus transferred His righteous onto us, by faith in Him, making us holy so that we can stand before God forgiven and so welcomed that we are even referred to as sons and daughters! This means that we don’t need that reminder of remaining pure and following the law. The law works itself out through us anyway, but in the eyes of the Father, we are clean.
In Leviticus chapter 20 it says, “If a man lies with a woman during her menstrual period and uncovers her nakedness, he has made naked her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from among their people.”
Here we see a little of the consequences for breaking God’s law. In the case of sleeping with a woman who has her period, the punishment would be banishment or, sometimes, even death. The temptation is to read these verses through a legalistic approach and decide that it is wrong for men today to have sex with a woman when she has her period. However, if you were upholding this law effectively you would also not be able to touch during this time, or even touch things that she has touched during this time. So the intention is not to read the law and think that we have to somehow try and obey it, but we use it to see the kind of holiness God demands of His people and thank Him for His gift of salvation, knowing that we could not have ever met this standard on our own. The bible says, in Romans 3:20, that it is through the law that we are conscious of our own sin, but also that we cannot be righteous by trying to follow the law. The other idea in this verse, though, is that a woman is violated by being exposed in that state. She was not required to fulfill her “wifely duty” while she was suffering from bleeding. It is showing that there is a care of women—some allowances need to be made for women—during their period.
In Ezekiel 18 the unholiness of God’s people was compared to the uncleanness of a woman during her menstrual cycle. This reminded me of how in Isaiah 64:6 it says that all our good works are like filthy rags. So, the bible tells us that not only are we unclean because of our sin, but even the good things we do are disgusting to God because we are already so tainted by sin that nothing we do is truly good. We all are like sheep that go off from the rest of the herd and decide to look after ourselves, not realizing that harm comes to us when we are not under the protection of our shepherd, Jesus (Isaiah 53:6).
There are two more practical examples in the bible about the behavior of women during their menstrual cycle and how they are affected by it. In Genesis 31:35, Rachel lied about having her period so that her father would not be aware that she was retrieving her idols that she fully intended to continue worshipping. There is an easy comparison here for women today: How many of us use PMS as an excuse to sin? Especially in the case of idols. How many of us hold comfort as an idol and use PMS as a way that we can “worship” our “idol?”
In Luke 8:43-46, we read about a woman who not only experiences bleeding during menstruation, but suffers from chronic bleeding, where it will not stop. I cannot imagine how horrible that would be! These verses tell us that she actively sought to try and find healing, even using all of her money to go to different doctors and try everything earthly possibly to fix the problem. She then heard about Jesus, and amazingly believed that He could heal her. So, she pushed through the crowd and touched Jesus’ cloak (believing that she would find healing even in one touch) and by her faith she was healed. The thing that inspires me about this woman, though, was that she was so active about trying to find a solution to the problem. She didn’t accept defeat. She didn’t use it as an excuse to be miserable and hateful, she worked hard to try and get rid of the problem. What’s more, she discovered that the only thing that could really help her, in the end, was Jesus.
Is the sin already in us? Maybe we have control over our attitude when all is well, but our true heart is revealed through trials. If it is a heart issue, how do we change it? I think a helpful verse is Psalm 4:4-5 “In your anger do not sin. When you’re on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD.” The psalmist beseeches us to reflect and pause and be sure that our heart is pure in turning to God for help. Our repentance should come from the right motives and our requests should be in line with God’s word. Trusting God does not mean demanding things of Him and then waiting for it to happen. It means that we look to Him, knowing that He is trustworthy, and allow Him to lead us however he will.
Sometimes we look at a problem in our life and it seems too overwhelming to fix. When we are saved by God, we are not made perfect. Instead we are perfected; it is an on-going process. If this is the way God works, it’s a wonder that we expect more from ourselves than He does… The Holy Spirit speaks to us all the time, reminding us through scripture and our conscience of what is right and good to do. Usually, it is a very small task that, on its own, should prove simple. Sometimes for me, it is something simple like closing my mouth. Have you ever felt like time stands still? For some reason, when I need to make a decision, I feel as though time drags on forever. For example, if I have already been short-tempered with my father, he might say to me, “You’ve been a little bit moody lately. I think you need to change your attitude.”
My defenses rise up and I’m loaded and ready to come back at him with a retort, but then time stands still as my mind questions whether I should say anything or not. Every fiber of my body wants to lash out, but there is a warning signal that goes off in my head telling me to let it go. Self-control has won out for me on occasion and I’ve been able to fight the impulse and been able to bite my tongue. Then I am faced with the choice again and again and again… Each time, I’ve noticed it becomes easier to resist. The first time is always the hardest. Self-control on its own isn’t the answer though. If all you did was try to resist the desire to sin in your anger, pretty soon you find that it catches up with you. No. Instead, the Psalm tells us that we need to be silent, reflect and trust.
Something I’ve been doing lately is taking little moments to pause and look at the sky. Even just thinking about it gives me a tingle of anticipation, because I know how powerful it is to just dwell on the heavens. Sometimes, in the car, I might look at the clouds and praise God for the creativity of the design on that particular day. Other times I might come home at night and instead of going straight into the house I will lean against the car and just observe the stars. I always become emotional and feel completely small, but also very loved. Noticing the beauty of creation leads me to think about the Creator who made them, which leads me to praise Him for His work and this leads me to be in awe of Him and for a single moment my head is free from everything else (worries, fears, anger, etc). Sometimes in those moments, I feel as though I could just slip away. I know as soon as I feel that peace, I am so much more rational and I can assess my own behavior, or make decisions a lot better. I can desire what God desires and not be blinded by my own sinful nature.
Most women will read this and dismiss what I’ve said, hoping for an easier answer that involves something that they can do: like eating certain herbs, exercising more, or taking vitamins that can help with the hormone imbalance. I’m not against those methods, it’s important to be healthy, but I don’t really think it’s going to impact our heart. Man has a tendency to look at the physical, but God always looks at the heart. So don’t continue to sin through PMS. Pause and reflect on something that reminds you of God, don’t try to anticipate what God might say to you, just enjoy His beauty and allow His peace to soften your heart. If anyone can soften a PMS-ridden heart, it is the Holy Spirit.
My prayers are with you, women!

 
REFERENCES
Apologetics Press, ‘Homosexuality and Female Menses,” retrieved from http://www.apologeticspress.org/apcontent.aspx?category=7&article=1456
Biblos.com, ‘Leviticus 15:20’ commentary, retrieved from http://biblecommenter.com/leviticus/15-20.htm