Book review
Single and Satisfied (A Grace Filled Calling For The Unmarried Woman) by Nancy Wilson
Like me, you're probably thinking 'Not another book about singleness' right? You feel like you've read them all and the instruction or encouragement (depending on the tone of the book) is often the same--You walk away feeling just as confused as ever about where you stand in the Christian community and what you should be doing.
When my friend recommended the book 'Single and Satisfied' I bought it only because I trusted my friend's opinion enough that I was willing to delve into that dreaded topic yet again. However, I put all of my defences up and braced myself for the onslaught. Then I read the introduction. Nancy Wilson begins by saying "Our individualistic culture wants to label unmarried people as 'singles,' but in the covenant community of God, there are no singles. God calls us family."
It was so surprising to hear someone say that there is nothing special about the unmarried. People often view themselves as either superior or neglected but very few people can claim that they are just "part of the fam." I soon realised the truth in that statement and so I kept reading.
Nancy Wilson must either have the ear of some single people or has experienced the struggle of singleness herself, as she was so spot on that it felt like someone was holding a mirror up to my face. I saw things in myself that I have never seen before. All the times I had complained about the well-meaning yet hurtful things people say about my singleness were held up before me in her chapter on 'taking offense.' I've dabbled in the victim mentality before but she challenged me to ask myself was it an affliction or a chance for sanctification? I have even tried walking down the road of contentment and thought that surely I was safe here, but again she challenged those who may insist they are fine but are secretly discontent to be honest about their desires and yet be thankful by saying: "A woman can have a deep desire for a husband and still rejoice before the Lord in the circumstances He has ordained for her."
I was even struck by Wilson's frank honesty, which could rival the book 'He's Just Not That Into You,' as she humbled expectations about future partners: "Some women have false illusions about how attractive they are...You should be realistic about your attractiveness as well as your potential." And gave motherly advice: "There is one thing worse than not being married, and that is being married to the wrong guy."
If you have questioned how you should dress, how far you should involve your parents in choosing a partner, what career suits a biblical view for women, how to relate to others in the church (especially other single men and women), then this book has some excellent practical advice backed up by scripture.
I feel empowered after reading this book, which some might find surprising as it has complementarian views about men and women, which Wilson doesn't hold back on. The book has given me permission to be choosy, yet introspective, and careful yet prayerful. I felt like I had just spent time with a group of women, arm in arm, ready to face the world, bucket overflowing.
A must read for the unmarried and the married woman.
